My Lovely SWOLLEN Face!

Dear readers,

It's post-op day 3!!
I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to be home in my own bed!! Let's just say, catheders and other various tubes are NOT my friends. I was highly disappointed at my check in Wednesday morning. Surgery was scheduled for noon, however, I got taken back almost immediately at 10:30 without seeing Mama, Daddy, and Mammaw. I did get the chance to smooch the greatest nurse alive (Mike ;)...with lips that actually WORKED! After heading to the AM holding at St. Mary's, I had to do a "meet and greet" with the bathroom and a little white cup. The first news Doctor Miller told me before he rolled me away was, "Congratulations, Kristin. You're not pregnant". Bless my heart. In all seriousness, the most scary part of this entire adventure was inserting the IV. My veins are extremely thin, so it took 4 times and a hightened blood pressure to get it right. Once that horrific scene was over, I woke up and it was after 7pm. 2 things I recognized when I woke up: I have a balloon in my blatter. I can't breathe. Forget the fact that my face had been sawed into, I was having serious complications with getting air. I read about this before the surgery and how patients create mantras to repeat while trying to breathe. I didn't think I'd have that problem, but I was resorting to my inner "Dory" by chanting, "just keep breathing. just keep breathing.". It seemed to work for awhile, but not before the morphine they were pumping into me began to make me sick. Broken jaw=killer strain when trying to vomit. Just FYI :)

When my fabulous nurses woke me up the next morning, it was like heaven when they told me I could get the cath and nose tube out. Once this happened, I was 90% better. Because of the fear of nauseous, I had no pain killers for 24 hours. It wasn't too bad...just anxiousness when I couldn't catch my breath. At this point, Dr. Miller stopped by to let me know that I was in Pediactric ICU. Considering that I'm 24, this is cracking me up. All my nurses thought I was the greatest patient ever, but they weren't wiping my rear so I understood their happiness. To keep the swelling down, I have to wear this contraption that look like basset hound ears filled with ice. It is highly annoying, but seems to be doing the trick as Dr. Miller said I was doing "exceptional". I try!

Keep in mind that my teeth are bound shut with 6 rubberbands. I can't speak or chew, but my profile is pretty much on target. I left the hospital this morning at 9 and had an 80 year old volunteer roll me out to the car. Down 6 stories, I swear he hit every bump, crack, and pothole on the way down. I couldn't fault him though. I'm pretty sure he didn't know my mouth was banded shut and he thought I was a hoity-toity snob. I couldn't manage a "thank you" and that was pretty upsetting to me. I've been in the bed for the majority of the day, with the exception of Mama coming to help wash my hair. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get the "hospital" off of you. I have so many things I want to tell you, but I can't keep my eyes open long enough to write in paragraph form. Please see below for brief thoughts :) Will check in tomorrow!

1. Pretty sure if Jim Henson calls, I'll be able to do a stand-in for Miss Piggy's face.

2. Ensure is probably the most disgusting drink EVER CREATED.

3. My lips are numb. Pretty much my entire face is numb. Drooling seems to be all the rage with me.

4. I want to talk. I've thought of about 100 jokes today and I'm the only one who seems to think they're funny.

5. Never had a bloody nose before. Can positively tell you that if I never have one for the rest of my days, I'll be a happy camper.

6. Even Long John Silver's commercials are beginning to appeal to me.

7. If I could just SMELL a McDonald's french fry, it will make my year!

8. I have a balloon in my room. Watching it float around reminds me of what my head must look like at this point. :)