Day 24!!

I can't believe I just titled this post as "Day 24"! Time has been flying by these past few weeks. I think I mentally over-dramatized this entire ordeal, therefore I can't get over the fact I'm pretty 'normal' at the 3 week post-op date. I've had a ton of progress with eating this week. I graduated from chicken-noodle soup to Spaghetti O's, Beefaroni, and I even scarfed down spaghetti on Wednesday. I know I was told to stick to blenderized foods, but it's either eat what I can with a spoon or don't eat at all. The "don't eat at all" method got me down 16 pounds in 2 weeks, so I'm sticking to what I can with a spoon.

We went to a picnic at my dad's fire station last weekend. They had grown men, a grill, and fresh ground beef. This is a recipe for awesomeness if you like to eat. This is a recipe for torture if you physically can NOT. My most fabulous dad made a special trip to the kitchen to warm up Spaghetti O's for me. I had to sit at the table by myself while everyone else was loading their plates with 3000 calories. I felt like a child being punished. I really felt like a child when I started laughing and spit Spaghetti O's all over the table!! My mouth is still numb and sometimes I forget that. When I eat lately, I make everyone eating with me sign a contract that says, "While you are dining with Kristin, it is your civic duty to inform her of any and all spills, crumbs, or stains that occur on her face. While it may be hilarious to let her go through the day with green birthday cake icing on her numb, lower lip, by signing this contract you forfeit your right to let this happen".

I went back to work Monday and today is my last day here. I have to report Monday to a real-life school district where I'll be employed as a real-life school teacher. I had no idea that I would feel as good as I have been, that's why I decided that I could hack going back to work as quickly as I did. Believe it or not, daytime TV and naps are not really my thing. Okay, that's a lie. Long periods of time of nothing but Home Improvement marathons and sleeping half the afternoon away is not really my thing.

I've popped 2 smaller bands this week and I managed not to freak out when they popped my cheek. I had a major fear of that, but I managed to overcome! Brushing, eating, spitting, (when I brush...not while I'm chewing tobacco) and talking have all improved this week...surely Dr. Miller will let me go "soft-foods" when I visit next week. I already have major guilt for "cheating" with the foods I've been eating, so how hard will it be to let me be reintroduced to potatoes, vegetables, pastas, etc. I know it's still weeks before I can handle chips and salsa, but that day will be here before I know it! I'm sure Los Cocos' financial books have seen a horrible set-back since July 28th...hahaha. Wish me luck for next week and I'll keep you posted!

2 Week Post-Op!!!

My mouth is feeling a little sore tonight as I write this...perhaps it's because I'VE BEEN TALKING ALLLL DAY!!!! I went this morning for my 2 week post-op check up. I stressed to Dr. Miller last week (almost in tears) how important it was that I could talk freely (without the blasted rubberbands). Keep in mind that after the surgery, I had 2 bands "holding me down" on both the left and right sides, plus 3 bands on my front teeth. When I went into Dr. Miller's office today, the assistant says "I'm going to take everything off and let you go clean really well". At this point, I'm about to jump out of my seat from excitement. After she takes the bands off, I almost immediately said, "PUT THEM BACK ON!" Having the same bite for 24 years is something, so having to learn an entirely NEW bite is pretty scary. It seriously felt like my bottom jaw was going to fall off of my face. The assistant asked me if I needed to go to the bathroom and I immediately took the chance. If I was going to freak out, I wanted some privacy!

I closed the door to the bathroom and stared in the mirror at this new bite I have. After prepping myself up to *try* and open my mouth again, I clenched my teeth and tried to do a short bite. I also kept sticking my tongue out because I missed the little guy. Hadn't seen him in 16 whole days! Pretty freightening. I stared at myself for about 3 minutes, then decided I better try to clean something so Dr. Miller wouldn't be totally grossed out. Let me put it this way: 16 days of not being able to brush behind your teeth is pretty disgusting. I could never be homeless. I'm sure they don't practice good oral hygiene. If I ever become homeless people, don't give me money; just make sure I have a good tooth brush and paste.

I was finally able to clean as best as I could. I went back to Dr. Miller's room to listen to him praise me for the wonderful recovery I seem to be having. I'm thinking to myself...I got the bill from the insurance company for your charges yesterday, Miller. You are just so happy that God blessed me with a crooked mouth that you could fix so you could rake in more money than most people in Lunenburg earn in a year (or 2) from my 1 surgery. Whew--what a run on sentence! You get my point. Anyway, he says I couldn't be doing any better so he only put 1 band on the left and 1 band on the right. I can talk (clearly!) and am able to eat better. Still on a "blended" diet for at least 2 more weeks. I cheated tonight though...I ate an entire can of Campbell's Chicken & Noodle for supper. I usually ONLY like that when I'm sick, but after basically only having Ensure Shakes and McDonald's Sweet Tea for 2 weeks, Campbell's was like filet mignon :) I was able to eat the noodles with no problem.

With this surgery, I learned I had to take things in small doses and set small goals. After being let down last week, I knew the "light at the end of tunnel" had to come soon. Today, the light grew much brighter! I'm so excited to talk and eat and talk and talk and talk. If I could change this blog from written to audio, believe me, I would. Until now, keep in mind that if I call you, you better have plenty of time to talk. I've got 2 weeks of pent-up information that I must get out!! I go back to Dr. Miller in 2 weeks...let's start praying now for permission to go to "soft foods". I sense mashed potatoes in my future...until then, I'll keep you posted!!

Day 11

Hi guys. Apparently I've become a "slacker" with this blog! I just don't want to bore you to death because I haven't really had anything exciting happen in the past two days; however, each morning I wake up, there is sooo much improvement. The swelling has REALLY gone down. It's so refreshing knowing that I still have cheek bones under there! It's like when I started going to the gym months ago...a few weeks after my love affair with the treadmill, I was like, "I DO have a collar bone under there!". The bruising is practically gone...so things are looking up :) I'm still pretty numb and 'tingly'. I went with Ryann (first cousin) to her wedding dress fitting today. I also had to get my MOH dress fitted--fun times having to get a dress altered down 2 dress sizes from what I originally ordered!! I know I should be proud and excited to be 'skinny' again, but NOT eating is NOT worth it. My inner fat girl is still alive and kicking though. I'm constantly thinking of FOOD and how easy it would be to sneak these bands off and throw down on some chips. For like an entire month.

Anyway, back to the numbness. Because the nerves that were torn during my surgery are growing back together ( I think), I get tickling sensations randomly. Feels like a stray hair on my face and nose I can NEVER get it off. I'm pretty sure I was caught picking my nose while waiting for Ryann to be fitted today. I wish I had T-Shirts made before I embarked on this journey. My slogan would read: " Please excuse me. I had jaw surgery. I can't talk to you. I can't eat anything. I randomly pick my nose. Don't pay any attention to me". I think I'd save myself many explanations. It is kind of weird when I go in public and people try to speak to me...I just look at whoever I'm with and they speak for me. It's like I'm in a foreign country and have translators. Awesome.

While cleaning my teeth tonight (a 30 minute process), I actually moved my jaws! I was just curious, so I tried to open and surprisingly, my jaw opened and shut just like normal. Just don't have a very wide bite. Like non-existent. It was just nice knowing that the surgeon actually knew what he was doing, haha. Well, the light at the end of the tunnel is definitely bigger and brighter here. I'll make sure to post pictures of the final product with no swelling. Should only take just a few more days to get back to my new "normal". Enjoy the rest of the weekend...I'll keep you posted!

Post-Op Check Up! (Day Nine)

I've come to think of this adventure like a bad break-up with a boyfriend. My old jaw & chin being the boyfriend I had to break up with. Read on to see why I feel this way.

I went to Dr. Miller today for my 1 week post-op check up. I had gotten my silly hopes up only to have them shut down...like only a bad ex boyfriend can do ;) I've been closed up tight with rubberbands since last Wednesday. It has been VERY difficult to talk, but more importantly, very difficult to eat. I thought for sure that Dr. Miller was going to loosen my bands to give me some breathing room. Unfortunately, I have to continue to wear them this way until he feels a little more comfortable about loosing them up. He says I am healing better than most people do with the type of surgery I had and that my swelling (or lack thereof) is great. He just doesn't want to mess with something that's doing so well. SO...I go back next Thursday to try all over again.

They did take new x-rays today and showed me what I looked like on the inside. Pray that I don't have to go through any airport security check-points in the near future. I have 2 pins in my bottom jaw that are holding together the most perfect bite you will EVER see! It is truly amazing that one week ago I had one face, now I have another. Deep down I was starting to miss my unique chin, then I saw the xrays with the new improvements and realized I was crazy to miss something that caused me much trouble...just like an ex! (See where I'm going with this??)

Since I was on the verge of tears, we decided to get my mind off it by going to Target. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, because being in public and NOT being able to talk is pretty darn AWFUL. I've always tried to be friendly and personable to strangers, so not being able to tell a person "thank you" for holding the door open is pretty upsetting to me. This happened 3 times, and I felt like a snobby mean girl when each person tried to say something about the storm and I couldn't reply. I just grinned and acted like I didn't hear them...kinda like I do to Mike 99% of the time he tries to tell me something. (Just kidding. Not really. ;) After waiting the storm out for 2 hours in Target, the electricity finally went out. I had asked Mike earlier if that happened did it mean we could run free in the store and take stuff. He wasn't too thrilled with that idea--guess it's the whole "cop" thing. As it happened, the only thing I could think of in Target in pitch black dark was...if I get lost, nobody would ever find me because I couldn't yell!!!! This whole jaw-thing is getting to be pretty overrated.

So as it seems, I'm stuck with complicated words and complicated eating habits until further notice. The swelling is pretty insignificant...and yes, I've posted a "before" and "after" of my profile, against my initial wishes for this blog. I figure I've had pretty regular followers and you deserve a visual aid! Left is "after", note the still-present swelling and minor yellow/greenish bruising. Right is "before". I'm still pretty numb from right below my eyes to my chin. I am getting a little feeling back around my lips, but it still feels like I have a hair on my face and it tickles. Talk about the most annoying feeling on the planet. But in the end, if you ask me if I would go through this whole unpleasant process from beginning to end, I would do it in a heartbeat. The experience was worthwhile and I feel like a stronger, braver person because of it.

Enjoy the pics (if I'm smart enough to figure out how to upload them on here) and I'll "talk" to you soon!!

Day SEVEN!

Sorry for the day-delay!! There are only so many exciting things to tell so I felt like I could load up 2 days worth of "stuff" to talk about into 1! I seem to be moving right along...slowly the air is escaping from this Blimp on my shoulders...My sleep is MUCH better. I actually feel rejuvenated when I wake up instead of soreness from sleeping uncomfortably. Still NO pain!! Just getting REALLY aggravated with not being able to open this mouth. Eveything I eat (or try to suck up through a straw) has been pretty much disgusting. I am proud of myself for *trying* some of the recipes that were in this ridiculous cook book of liquified foods, but let's be honest people, if I'm eating something out of a blender, it better consist of something with alcohol or something with Oreos.

I had a bit of excitement last night. I made Mike take me "riding". Don't get excited--this wasn't your Lunenburg type of riding where you leave the house and go sit in a parking lot and talk for 2 hours. It was a good ol' fashioned "cruising". Because this was the first time I left the house, I had to go out incognito. Mike made me trade my trademark Yankees hat for my Bass Pro Shops hat (it was a gift, people). He even went and got a fish hook to accent my look with that extra redneck appeal. Basically I left the house looking like a bridesmaid on the set of "My Big Redneck Wedding" with a wad of chewing tobacco stuck in both of my cheeks. Thankfully this was after 10 so I was not afraid of running into anyone I knew.

I felt comfortable enough with my puffy cheeks to accept visitors today!! My personal trainer and SHBFF, Stephanie, came over and we had a lovely time chatting. Well, I had a lovely time listening to her chat. I'm having trouble holding up my end of the conversations lately ;) I tried a new blender recipe today. Needless to say, I ending up eating another Ensure. I think Mike's in the kitchen making me a Black & White shake now. Surprisingly, I haven't eaten many fattening milkshakes this week. To be honest, I haven't eaten much of anything. I'm definitely getting skinny, but not the cute white girl kind. I'm the cute ethiopian girl that is kind of pasty. Ha. When this adventure is over, I'll continue my secret love affair at night with the treadmill. It's too dang hot to lay out, so I'll rely on decent food after Thursday to give me some color back. Mike says I stare at the TV when restaurant commercials come on like I'm watching something dirty. I've been craving food and restaurants that I normally don't even like! There is a Chilli's commercial advertising new hand-made burgers and I literally pause it and make it go in slow motion just for thrills :) When we rode my Los Cocos last night, I looked like a kid plastered to the windows when pulling into the lot at Disney World for the first time. It's going to be a looonnngggg 5 weeks.

Well, I'm pretty sure I hear the blender coming to an end, so I must come to an end. I'm expecting more visitors tomorrow, so I may actually put a little make-up on these stuffy cheeks. I'll let you know how exciting that was. In the departing words of Frankie Tanner, "Carry own." (Supposed to be 'carry on', but we are country people. I think it's got spunk.)

Day Five

So I've made it to post-op day five with a heavy weight on my shoulders. Apparently, it's just the increasing platepus duck lips on my face, so we're still in business. I figure as long as I can walk to the bathroom and milk this special treatment from Mike, I might as well stick out this process without going back to Dr. Miller and begging him to just cut my head off and give me a new one. While the swelling HAS gone down (a very small amount), I have developed a lucious shade of yellow/green blush on my face. Obviously, Cover Girl's shade of baby food pea green blusher is NOT a hit. I'm the poster child for all REJECTED cosmetics here lately.

I made a list of my favorite FAILED products:
New Fragrance: HOSPITAL. Fail.
New Concealer: Inflatable 24 Hour Stay-on powder. "We'll distract your zits by blowing up your face 3x it's actual size". Fail.
New Lip gloss: "Crusty Peely" for enhanced texture. Fail.
New Self-Tanner shade: Elmer's Glue. Fail.

Now that I've vented about my otherwise unattractive portrait, I will tell you that I was reunited with a long lost VERY BEST FRIEND today! Bojangles Sweet Iced Tea. It was like wattered-down heaven in a crappy fast food cup. Made my day though. The straw-eating has improved greatly. Still bothers me after about 30 minutes of trying to eat. I've been "eating" in about an hour here lately. It really takes effort to work these lazy jaw muscles. Mammaw made homemade potato soup and it tasted scrumptious, however, it was too thick to get through my trusty syringe/straw so I have to save it for later in the week. For now, it's still Ensure, Dannon Kid's yogurt, and amoxicillan. Then I go to the bathroom. Take a rest. And do it all over again. So greatful for not wanting any pain meds. That's been a miracle for the girl who hyperventilated over an IV BEFORE they sawed her jaw into.

Got a really cool gift basket today too! I'm going to win the World record for crosswords/word searches by the time this process is over. At least it keeps my brain from turning to mush from watching too much Tom & Jerry. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to dress appropriately and walk around outside for longer than 5 minutes. I've been noticing how weak my hands are so I definitely need to jump on the bandwagon and step up my exercise program--or lack thereof. Hopefully I'll be able to overcome my insomnia tonight. Been having difficulty sleeping upright when I'm normally a side squeezer (fetal position while holding a pillow). Wish me sweet dreams and I'll continue this adventure tomorrow!!! Hang in there with me. I'll keep you posted!